I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Randomize
