Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
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I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
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