I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
