I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
I think a kid would responsible me up
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
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