So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
