Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
