You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
