So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
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