after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
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