I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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