I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Boobs speak an international language.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
You randomly sent me a black Santa Claus emoji at 2am. I think alcohol was involved.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
