Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Randomize
