Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
