Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
