So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Fine. I'll sleep in my office
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
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