God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
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