OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize