At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
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