therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
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