What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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