She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
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