Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Randomize