Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
