brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Randomize
