Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
