No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize