hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
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