I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
