i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
tell me about the fingering
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