Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
