we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Randomize
