I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
