Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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