He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
