Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
