Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
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I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
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The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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