dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
