if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize
