so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Randomize
