Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
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