Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
did i just pee glitter
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
