so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
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Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
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Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
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