How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
