It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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