just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
The power of my boobs compel you
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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