I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
