he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
