how can u be prego again
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
that is very illegal...i love you.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
