My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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