JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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