How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
