I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize