The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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