You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
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