would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
omg how embarrassing to not hear the delivery person knocking because you're singing "where are you Pizza" to the tune of "where are you christmas" too loudly
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
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