i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
