Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
