Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
I love you.
Bad choice
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
