C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
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