You surviving the open bar?
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I feel like abortions should bother me more
My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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