So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
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