I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
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