What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Randomize
