You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
i will never coherently bang her
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
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